October 30th, 2020
I wish I could say that my appointment on the 30th went better than on Oct 2nd. It didn’t. I felt like two piles of major dog doodoo, inflamed what felt like everywhere, could barely stay awake, slept in the car on the way to and from the hospital to see my oncologist.
I had PT that morning at 9 a.m. Did I shower or wash my face? Nope, and I rarely skip either of those, especially on PT days. I brushed my teeth and left. I arrived in tears at the PT clinic. I hurt so bad. My therapist stretched me gently, and we didn’t talk much. I felt much better and left smiling, not grinning, mind you, but also not crying anymore.
For work, I had two phone meetings to get through: one at 10 and one at 11:30. I sat at my desk for the first one because I needed to take notes. I took the second phone meeting while lying down in bed. I appreciate working from home even more on days when I feel super yucky. No one knows I’m lying down or don’t feel well, unless I say something. I can usually hide my pain with my voice and tone with forced but still sincere excitement and engagement from me, no matter what! I clocked out immediately after the 2nd call and started to get ready to drive to the hospital.
I pep-talked myself about driving to the hospital and whether or not I thought I could without falling asleep. Husband knew I didn’t feel good. At all. It’s pretty obvious how I feel when I go back to sleep in the morning after getting up with the dogs, and go back to bed after PT.
As I was packing my backpack, he came out and asked if I needed him to drive me. I had been this close to asking him. It would have either required getting up (nope!) or hollering for him (no energy for that either.) I suppose I could have texted. Anyway, “YES!” I said.
We made it to the Cancer Center at the hospital. I took a short-term painkiller after my blood draw. I had started taking a 12-hour, time-released painkiller the day before, and the 30th was Day 2. It is intended to ease my chronic pain from radiation in addition to short-term painkillers, taken as needed. And no more magical steroids. I tapered off them. I felt happy to sleep and not be up at all hours. I missed feeling so amazing and energetic though. Omg, the house had stayed so clean while I was on steroids!
***TMI warning***
In addition, about two weeks before this, I had started seeing blood in my urine. Yes, it’s alarming and could mean something or it could mean nothing. Oncologist ordered additional scans and referred me to the Urology Oncology clinic.
I could barely keep my eyes open during my appointment with my doctor. I nodded off every chance I got. He’d never seen me that way.
CEA inflammation marker had increased to 218. I wasn’t surprised based on the way I felt. Doc ordered my usual quarterly scans of Chest and Abdomen CT, brain MRI, and an additional CT to check out my kidneys, ureters, and bladder. “See you in two weeks,” he said. “Mmhmmkay,” I replied and tried to focus my eyes on him.
Next, I went down the hall for my bone-growth stimulating shot, then it was back in the car to go home for, thank goodness, more sleep!
First Position Parallel 