I ran into a couple of friends at my favorite store, Target, the other day, and no, it didn’t hurt. I hadn’t seen them in a while. I had gotten distracted by the candle aisle when I needed to just get out of there before a scheduled event.
Anyway, I had my hands on the cart that Little Guy and I had taken on our wild journey through the store. While talking to my friend, I noticed that she glanced at my ring finger. My bare, proud, single, momma ring finger. Whether they know about my relationship status or not, she looked.
I know we all do this. I know a bare ring finger doesn’t really mean anything either. I know women who have been married for 20+ years and don’t wear a ring. Ever. I know people who have been in long-term relationships, had kids together, and never married.
I resent that expectation from others of “Where’s the ring?” I resent that in myself, too.
Did anyone ask if that’s what I want? Did anyone consider that I can’t remarry without accepting certain financial consequences for doing so?
My mother-in-law asked me on Christmas Day if the guy I’m seeing asked me to marry him tomorrow, would I say yes? I shocked her and answered no. I have a few reasons, but mostly, there are no guarantees in life. Marrying at this point would change my finances. I applaud her belief in romance and marriage, but I take a more practical view. I also don’t believe in marriage at this point in my life. I’d like to, but I firmly believe in committed relationships of one’s choosing. Would a piece of paper change my commitment? No. Do I find it intriguing to look at rings on ring fingers? Yes, I admit that I do. It intrigues me to see who has made a public announcement of commitment to their spouse, that that person has another who gave them a material token symbolizing their relationship.
Can I stop myself from doing the ring glance? I don’t know. I don’t think so. We all do it. Plus, I like to admire others’ jewelry, rings especially.