The Ring Glance

I ran into a couple of friends at my favorite store, Target, the other day, and no, it didn’t hurt.  I hadn’t seen them in a while.  I had gotten distracted by the candle aisle when I needed to just get out of there before a scheduled event.  

Anyway, I had my hands on the cart that Little Guy and I had taken on our wild journey through the store.  While talking to my friend, I noticed that she glanced at my ring finger.  My bare, proud, single, momma ring finger.  Whether they know about my relationship status or not, she looked. 

I know we all do this.  I know a bare ring finger doesn’t really mean anything either.  I know women who have been married for 20+ years and don’t wear a ring.  Ever.  I know people who have been in long-term relationships, had kids together, and never married. 

I resent that expectation from others of “Where’s the ring?”  I resent that in myself, too.

Did anyone ask if that’s what I want?  Did anyone consider that I can’t remarry without accepting certain financial consequences for doing so?  

My mother-in-law asked me on Christmas Day if the guy I’m seeing asked me to marry him tomorrow, would I say yes?  I shocked her and answered no.  I have a few reasons, but mostly, there are no guarantees in life.  Marrying at this point would change my finances.  I applaud her belief in romance and marriage, but I take a more practical view.  I also don’t believe in marriage at this point in my life.  I’d like to, but I firmly believe in committed relationships of one’s choosing.  Would a piece of paper change my commitment?  No.  Do I find it intriguing to look at rings on ring fingers?  Yes, I admit that I do.  It intrigues me to see who has made a public announcement of commitment to their spouse, that that person has another who gave them a material token symbolizing their relationship.  

Can I stop myself from doing the ring glance?  I don’t know.  I don’t think so.  We all do it.  Plus, I like to admire others’ jewelry, rings especially.

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