Talk Thursday – Time Has Come Today

The time has come today.  Well, really it came a couple days ago while I was driving.  (That’s when the most impactful things occur to me.)  I got to the point in my grieving where I could see dead Ex in my head and not feel mad.  I got to the point of feeling, “Oh, that’s really too bad.”  I’m pretty sure I got here by writing an anger letter to him last week.  (I didn’t know that was allowed.  I thought I still had to be nice.)  I would like to burn the letter one of these days after I have found the courage to re-read it, edit it, and read it again, but there’s a fire ban, so my healing, smoky closure will have to wait or get sent away in a different form.

For some reason I have The Beatles in my head singing, “Blackbird singing in the dead of night, take these broken wings and learn to fly.  All your life, you were only waiting for this moment to arise.”  I have been waiting for this moment.  I made it happen.  It feels so good to let go of some anger.  I feel unbound.

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3 Responses to Talk Thursday – Time Has Come Today

  1. Cele says:

    Good girl, you are healing and it is good.

  2. lynnblossom says:

    Progress is its own reward.

    I remember the feeling of relief and gratitude on the Aug 28th after Gary died. I had gone for a run and was sitting in the back yard on 13th in the dark. The moon was full and the crickets were bursting with sound. I remember thinking that night, “the worst is over and nothing will ever be that bad again.” I had reached that tipping point in the healing and grieving. Three months later you moved back home with me and I began my golden wonderful years with you and the amazing cast of people who graced our lives. Pain had opened a gaping wound in my heart; love and gratitude came back into my life to fill it. Had I not accepted the fullness of that pain I could not have known the fullness of the grace that followed.

    It is happening for you right now. It’s your turn.

    You who are so wonderful and perfect in your own way. You have no idea how happy you make me. Never forget the Universe loves you. But I love you more.

    Mommmmmmmmmmmmm forever.

  3. shinshige says:

    I love you, Jennifer. . .
    Um, am I a forever man?

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