Life is Crazy. (Talk Thursday – “Scattered”)

Life is crazy.  Life is short.  You only live once (that you remember).  Life’s a bitch and then you die.  

The last one I don’t live by, but the first three have run through my head for the last few months.  I have acknowledged the power that I have in my life this summer from simple things like wishing for a teal, paisley shirt on a consignment store visit and finding it to craving pumperknickel bread and receiving some the next day.  

The more complicated wishes, well, you know what?  I got a phone call yesterday asking if I make certain documents.  This call came from a company who would still like to refer me out to their clients.  Today (after the sun comes up), I plan to call her back and say, “Hell, yes, I do those!  I mean, yes, I can make some kick-ass documents for your clients.”  Okay, I’ll tone it down a little more than that.  I was going to say that the more complicated wishes don’t come to fruition as easily, but I don’t believe that.

I was supposed to go to Denver last night for a wedding-business mixer/cocktail party that I had RSVP’d for.  I prepared myself as best as time would allow yesterday morning.  I didn’t have time to bring the outfit I would change into later with me to work, and I couldn’t decide what to wear.  After work, I borrowed a just-above-the-knee, plum-colored suede skirt and a teal jacket from my girlfriend, as well as, some of her handmande jewelry.  I felt prettier than a Stargazer Lily, and my hair behaved.  I had even brought my city shoes to change into once I got there.  

About 15 minutes into my trip, my check engine light came on.  Great, I thought.  Oil must be low again.  So, I pulled over and checked my oil.  No, the oil was fine and full and clean, not like the last time my check engine light came on in August.  I decided not to go to Denver.  That would have freaked me out to drive 4 hours round-trip by myself, and I didn’t feel like chancing anything.  I called home and said I had changed my plans.  

On top of going to Denver for the mixer, a bride that stayed at the lodge wanted to meet me in Downtown Denver to get some stuff from me that she had left behind.  I called her to say that today REALLY wouldn’t work, and I meant it this time.  I had tried to tell her this about 6 times throughout the day, but the car trouble halted everything.  

Life is crazy.   

I got home, changed into dull, house clothes, put my Little Guy to bed and worked in the office.  I made a cocktail to help me through the office time.  I felt like I shouldn’t miss out on a good drink, even though I didn’t get to go to the cocktail party.  I discovered that I wasn’t in the mood for a drink, and I left the glass half-full.  I went to bed early and thought about how much easier it would be to get up in the morning at 6, like I should, instead of 7, like I always do.  Well, it would have been, if I had had a full-night’s sleep.  

I woke up around 1 a.m., and it doesn’t make sense to have woken up so early.  I feel more peaceful in my mind than I have in a while.  Hm, I don’t know that that’s saying much, but I’ll take what I can get.  I was hungry when I woke up, and I needed to pee.  I’ve taken care of both those things.  I probably need water.  I have a feeling that the cocktail had some influence on my sleep pattern, even if I didn’t have much of it.  Maybe I should have had more.  An entire cocktail wearing off wouldn’t have woken me up until 7 a.m.  

My crazy schedule ends next week, and I won’t feel so pulled by too many obligations.  I swear some days I answer the phone, and I have to take a second to figure out where I am and what business name to say to get it right.  I’ll have time to focus and return phone calls and practice guitar, which I haven’t done in 3 weeks.  I canceled lesson for tomorrow…again!  I look forward to feeling more in control of my life and my work and wearing my girlfriend’s earthy jewelry that I borrowed.

This entry was posted in Fulfillment, girlfriends, gratitude, success, Talk Thursday and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Life is Crazy. (Talk Thursday – “Scattered”)

  1. Cele says:

    Your blogs are such a personal look into you, sometimes more than I think you intend or realize. So this is said with love and affection.

    You need some Zen and Yoga.

    I can feel how scattered you are inside and out. Breathe

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