fun in the snow April 22, 2009

Saturday, I didn’t have to be work until 4. I picked up Little Guy at 7:30 a.m., after 3 hours of sleep.  I went out this weekend.  More on that at another time.  Anyway, sometime around lunchtime, Little Guy and I decided to take the dogs for a walk.  It was snowing still, and we had received about a foot the day before. 

We headed up the road and found ourselves a nice bank of snow to sit down in after Little Guy wanted to see the stream he could hear.  We pretended to be dogs by kneeling and digging in the snow with our paws.  Snow went all over our laps.  The real dogs wanted to play ball, and we kept them occupied by throwing the two balls they had brought while we played. 

We sat in the snow and threw snowballs to the other side of the road.  Little Guy’s got a pretty good arm.  We tired of that.  Then, Little Guy called “snowball fight.”  We threw snowballs at each other and laughed and laughed. 

Next we played “way high,” a game that involves throwing a snowball, in this case, way high, straight up in the air.  I granny-shot snowballs and impressed Little Guy.  He’s still catching on to how to get the balls to go straight, but we laughed anyway no matter if they went up or behind him or fell out of his hands. 

The clouds started to part and the sun to shine at last.  I laid down in the snowbank to watch the sky.  Little Guy joined me.  We pointed out shapes and animals the clouds made.  It was so relaxing and fun.  I like being a silly mama and spending time with a silly son.

Rainbows February 9, 2009

2/7/09

My mom gave me and Little Guy a solar-powered rainbow maker for Christmas. I attached it to my east-facing window with the suction cups. The device has two, suspended, faceted pieces of glass that spin when the sun hits the motor shooting rainbows all over our bedroom.

Today, Little Guy and I slept in until 7. When the sun rose, we were laying in bed when the rainbows started. “Watch the rainbows with me,” I said. With his active mind and body, he takes no interest in laying in bed to watch spinning rainbows.

“The wainbows are winging awound,” he always says in the morning. Instead of saying “spinning,” he calls it “ringing around.” He learned that term from the song “Ring Around the Roses.”

It didn’t take long for him to turn into a kitty and pounce on all the moving rainbows on the bed and walls. “Meow,” he says. “I’m a kitty.” And he went back to chasing the rainbows.

Talk Thursday – Joy of Autumn October 10, 2008

Joys that have come this fall have included Little Guy’s successes.  During Single Mama Weekend at the end of September, he started using the potty 100% (1 year and 9 months of training) and CHOSE to wear underwear.  Except for one day last week, he has chosen underwear over a Pull-Up.  (He found a Pull-Up with Buzz Lightyear on them and took those over real underwear.  I told him we can get real underwear with Buzz Lightyear on them.)  His success came from BOTH parents backing off.  Husband gave up, and that ticket gave Little Guy all the control over his own body that he wanted.  Last week, before I left for work one evening, Little Guy summoned me with “Mom, come here!  Huge poop in the toilet!”  And I obeyed.  Positive reinforcement goes a long way!

All this talk about fall, reminds me that Little Guy will start school in two years, pre-school next year, I hope.  Right now, he spends about half his time each week in daycare, and the other half with me, a good portion of which I take him to work with me.  I feel bad that I don’t spend as much time with him working on his ABC’s as I would like, but thank the stars he has daycare to fill in some gaps.  He has started recognizing more letters and can count to five and knows some of the numbers after that, but not the order.  He has figured out how to button up his clothes, too.  His fine, motor skills are developing.  

Today, he started writing the letter “O” all on his own.  

I know that compared to other kids his age, he may seem behind in development.  But, it isn’t fair to compare.  He has only attended daycare.  So, while my friend’s son, who’s 4 months younger and goes to pre-school can recite his ABC’s, Little Guy’s developing on his own timeline.  He’ll catch up to the other kids soon enough.  I want time to celebrate his successes.

Single Life with My Cat May 25, 2008

 

Hi, welcome to the honest truth.  

I realized last week while writing a lengthy email one afternoon that got guillotined in cyber-ho*mail-hell, that I have a hard time accepting my reality as a mother and wife with a dog and cat because I had envisioned my life as something different from a young age.  I envisioned my life to include a cat and maybe a significant other here and there or forever.  That way, I could have all the freedom I wanted to do anything.  I could do all the plays I could fit into my schedule.  I could dance as many nights (not that kind!) as I wanted to make time for.  If I wanted to take watercolor classes, I could.  I could continue an academic career and life.  You get the picture.  

You all know how much I admire my mom, and I mean all of this in the most loving, and flattering way possible, Mom.  Well, somehow along the way, I decided that the only way I could accomplish everything that I wanted in life, which has morphed over the years, was to be single with a cat.  Having a single, independent mom influenced my life.  We always had a cat, or two, or three, but always one main cat and a stray or two.  My mom accomplished a lot while raising me.  She worked full-time.  She got an MBA.  Then she started working on an Arts degree and then a Master’s in Communications.  I think I admired her freedom and her ambition, something I mirrored when I got to high school and college.  Praise the stars, well, in some ways.  I don’t know if the burn out at the end was worth me working THAT hard.  (I earned my B.A. in English when I was 19, almost 20.)  I also can’t say that it has paid off to have worked so hard yet – for me.  I can say that a crazy-busy life feels normal for me.  

Well, during all this craziness that my mom and I lived in with our cats, she had romantic relationships here and there, but she didn’t seem to need them.  She had her independence, her freedom, and other significant relationships that trumped romantic ones.  The cats made us happy, too.  Does this paint any picture of how I admired her life and the way she lead it?  I always wanted to be like her.  I hear that I am like her in a lot of ways.  (Yes!)  I am a product of my parents – the good, the bad, the everything.  

Let me bring this back around to my preconceived notion that I have fought over the last 8 years now in an attempt to accept my reality – finally.  Well, I ended up living with a boyfriend, now called Hubby.  I expected the living together part, but not the getting married part.  This all happened within a couple years of graduating college.  After 5 years of marriage, we had a child, also not expected, causing further emotional and mental anguish for me.  And I didn’t enjoy the first two years of mothering, so put that in the “Accept Your Reality” column, too.  Also, my pregnancy caused me to leave an active, fulfilling performance life in theatre and dance and my then-latest hobby, ice skating.  I was about 3 months pregnant when the last play I performed in ended its run.  I felt some resentment.  I think Hubby was excited because having a child would Rapunzel me.  I wouldn’t have the freedom to do my arts and be away from home.  He’d have me locked up with him the way he’d wanted it from the beginning.  (I’m super-social.  He’s super-not.  It causes me to feel Rapunzeled.  I digress.)

I looked at life the last few years as this: ‘I have a husband, a good man.  I should feel fulfilled, but I don’t.’  Then when Little Guy came, I added ‘I have a child, and I should feel fulfilled, but I don’t.’  I kept looking at it like I was on this path that wasn’t supposed to be mine because it felt so far away from living that single, fulfilled life with my cat that I had wrapped with care in purple silk in my mind.  Now, I look at my life with more acceptance, even if it’s new.  This is my life.  I have my cat, my soul-cat.  I have significant relationships that fulfill me.  I will accomplish everything I want to and that I set my mind to.  My mom did all that stuff I mentioned above and had me as her bonus along with it.  In my life, the husband and the child and the dog are just bonuses on my way to feeling acceptance and fulfillment in my life.  They’re like finding two prizes in a box of Cracker Jack, instead of one.  You expect one prize.  Finding a second is icing on the cake.