Birthdays August 15, 2008

I should be in the shower right now, but I wanted to post something first.  I enjoyed my birthday yesterday.  I enjoyed it for the first time in a long time.  I even told people it was my birthday.  I never do that.  I even told people my age.  I never do that either.  

I asked for no material gifts from Husband.  I prefer it that way.  It makes the day more meaningful to me.  He presented me with 2 pounds of coffee beans first thing in the morning.  Okay, no one can go wrong giving me coffee (or alcohol) for my birthday.  That was a bonus, especially after drinking the crappy coffee for the last week.  

I had a guitar lesson in the morning before work.  Good lesson.  We practiced and jammed.  My fingertips, unused to playing, had grown soft again.  I hadn’t practiced in about 3 weeks.  I have returned to the numb-fingertip stage.  With more regular practice, I will build up my callouses again.  I can hardly wait.  

I went to work.  Good day.  It was busy, but not too busy, like the day before.  I enjoyed a Chambord margarita at the end of my shift.  Then we had a birthday shot.  Mmm, lemony.  I was fine by the time I had to pick up Little Guy from daycare.  I stopped at the liquor store on the way home for some birthday vodka.  Did you know that you get a discount there when it’s your birthday?  

I got home to find gift #2 - Husband making dinner of curry pasta with cream and peas.  Yummy.  Full-calorie, just the way I like it.  I think the last time I didn’t make dinner was Christmas, but I don’t remember for sure.  I enjoyed a Lemon Drop martini before dinner was ready.  It’s not your birthday without your favorite drink in your hand, right?  (I had enjoyed a glass of my favorite wine the day before at work because I started celebrating my birthday the day before.)  

After we put Little Guy to bed, we headed upstairs for gift #3.  I would have to change the rating of this site to describe anything further.  Who doesn’t want to get busy on their birthday?!?  Then, we watched an episode of “Gilmore Girls” and went to sleep.  

I go to work tonight where the celebrating will continue.  My girlfriend told me she made me one of her handmade jewelry pieces.  She asked if I liked chocolate or vanilla, and what’s my favorite color.  This led me to ask her if she was making me edible jewelry.   I could just see a piece of purple chocolate melting on a silver chain around my neck.  I hoped it would go with my outfit.  ”No,” she told me and laughed with me.

My girlfriend’s on her way over, so I’d better make myself and the bathroom presentable.    The kids will play.  We’ll get to hang out before work.  The sun’s coming out after this drizzly, cold morning.  Guitar Teacher predicts an Indian Summer.  I hope for one, too.

Are My Eyes Open Yet? August 12, 2008

After near 8 hours of sleep and two cups of coffee, I can’t tell if my eyes are open yet.  They feel warm and puffy and tired.  I guess if you see a lot of typos on this page, you’ll know that my eyes are still closed, or that my typing skills have improved.  

I remember making my coffee.  I remember not speaking yet.  I remember pouring my coffee.  I remember sitting in the warm, bright sunshine on my east-facing deck with my eyes closed.  I remember moving inside and plopping down here on the couch all slouched over and comfy-like.  I have coffee breath and I only move my fingers to type and my body to reach my coffee.  

I wanted to have left for work by now.  I wanted to be there at 8 a.m., but the sunshine lured me, and Little Guy’s still sleeping.  I’m going with it.  I’ll go when I’m ready to move.  

I’m looking forward to horseback riding this Friday.  I was just thinking that I needed a day away, and that will do the trick to revitalize me.  

Hey, look!  My eyes are open.

Random Fortune & Change August 11, 2008

I feel fortunate today, fortunate that I got to sleep until 7:45 a.m. for the second day in a row.  I couldn’t sleep last night, so I got up and typed until I couldn’t stay awake any more.  I napped yesterday, and that threw my sleep schedule off.  I hope my sleep pattern goes back to normal this week.  I wish I were a morning person sometimes, but I never have been, except by force, and that doesn’t count.  

This past weekend, I got invited to join in this weekend’s wedding festivities and eat dinner with the guests.  I always feel a little out of place and welcome at the same time.  The younger daughter in the family got married.  Her older sister had gotten married in the past year, too.  The sisters are best friends.  During the toasts, the older sister spoke about how close she and her sister have been since they were little and that there’s no where else they’d rather be than with each other.  My mind zipped to my mom, since we feel the same way about each other.  I thought, ‘So, we’re not the only related pair that feels this way.’  Maybe it isn’t so strange.  If I had a sister, maybe I would have that kind of relationship with her rather than with my mom, who’s my best friend.  I was happy for the family and for the bride on her wedding day surrounded by her family and friends.  

*****

I have some coffee that some guests left behind a few weeks ago.  It’s a brand that you can get at the grocery store and says a time on it.  I would not recommend this coffee.  It’s not as bad as the kind that comes in a can and starts with an “f.”  If I doctor it up with milk and chocolate syrup, I can tolerate it.  The good news is that my coffee consumption has decreased over the last few days.  I’m back down to 3 cups, and I don’t know if I’ll finish all 3 today.  We’ll see.  So far, I haven’t had any headaches from my caffeine receptors going unfed.  

****

I read a while ago that if you leave your blemishes alone, they will heal up on their own in 3 days.  I have shown some amazing willpower the last few days.  I used to have this power over myself to leave my skin alone, but it’s been a good 10 years or more since I last demonstrated such self-control.  So, the simple pimples that heal fast and come to a whitehead in a day or so dry up, but not in 3 days for me.  I still have the one that began the challenge, and it’s been about 5 or 6 days.  Now, I’m to the itching part, which means it’s still healing, and it feels more like a scab now.  The big, deep, painful blemishes that deserve their own names will take longer than 5 or 6 days to heal when left alone.  At least, that’s my bet.  

My challenge to post something every day last week went unmet as soon as my shifts at the restaurant happened.  It doesn’t matter.  I thought I would give it a shot.  I could probably do it in the fall when I have less going on.  

For those of you who don’t know, my birthday is on Thursday.  I had some freak-out moments last week.  OMG, I have a three-year-old, for instance.  I didn’t expect to say that for another 4 years or so, if ever.  I expected to Professor Jenniphur by last year, and that didn’t happen.  I have acknowledged that ideas and goals change, including those two.  It makes me wonder if I’m now ready to go to grad school.  That kept me awake near all night on Wednesday.  I’ll look into it, but my gut says I’m not ready yet, and I don’t know what I want academically.  I’d rather do some more theatre…in my spare time.  

Off to work and to think of a way to get Little Guy to stop breaking things,

J

Going to Bed with Stories in My Head August 6, 2008

I have to go to bed.

I have stories in my head.

I challenged myself to post something every day this week.  

This is it.  I’m going to bed.  If I go now, I have a chance of getting 7.5 hours of sleep tonight.  I cancelled guitar/spanish for tomorrow morning, so I can sleep in.  

Tomorrow (Thursday) is Little Guy’s third birthday.  I have to remember to bring his cupcakes that are cooling right now and his swimsuit.  Daycare will take him swimming tomorrow to celebrate.  And, he is getting over a cold.  Poor little guy!  If he feels up to it, we’ll head to a birthday party at my girlfriend’s house who had her baby on Aug. 7 last year.  Maybe we can alternate the party-throwing responsibilities each year, but I know that they’ll always do something.

I’m off to sleep and dream my stories.  As long as they make me smile while I sleep like they do when I’m awake, I’ll be doing well.  It just started to rain.  

Wishing you all slumber,

J

Weather - Other Side of the Coin August 4, 2008

In my last post, I mentioned that it snowed here last week.  I’m over the snow and the coldness of this climate.  Summer only last 3 months, if that.  Almost everyone takes advantage of the warm weather as much as possible.  It’s been cooler here this year than usual.  The other side to that is gratitude that it isn’t 100 degrees or hotter.  I don’t think we’ve even reached 80 degrees yet this summer, except for maybe those couple warm days we had in June.  

I also have to remember that even though it’s cold here most of the year, the sun shines for 300 of those days.  It’s not like we live in an Alaskan-Portland, Oregon, with grey skies, or even Maine, where I hear it the cold bites through every layer.  When it gets to 30 (or 50 degrees) in March, no one wears coats.  It feels like a tropical holiday for a couple weeks.  

It’s 53 degrees right now, partly sunny with expected rain and a high of 74 degrees, though I’ll believe that when I see it.  I’m off to change into some pants, clean up the kitchen, and go to work.

Phases - A Kick in the Rear August 3, 2008

I do NOT like be awakened from naps.  I was almost asleep, drifting into my afternoon thoughts on life, when Little Guy joined me on the couch…and started kicking me in the rear.  I told him repeatedly to stop.  He didn’t.  I moved to the other couch, my heart beating hard and irregular.  Ironic, I thought through pulses of irritation.  I’ve been rearranging my office today, and I had just thought that in order to get back downstairs to continue working on it, I would need a kick in the rear.  And, I got one.  More than one.  

******

Phases - I’m going through a phase.  I think it’s a phase anyway.  Ever since my trip to California in April, I’ve been doing more of everything, such as, drinking, socializing (shucks, I know), working, having fun in life, writing, and confronting myself and others.  Saying “no” has become a more comfortable word for me.  

I have a theory that this is the real me, and I only let her out every four years.  What if I keep her this time?  All I know is that I’m tired, more so on the weekends.  Four years ago, it didn’t matter so much to be tired on Saturday and Sunday (and Friday) after performing in theater.  I didn’t have to get up early to take care of a small child.  I didn’t have to run events every weekend in the summer.  I was in the events.  I had little responsibility other than to remember my lines and show up to perform to the best of my abilities, and that was in the evenings, rather than all day long.  At least, I’m not hungover this weekend.  I had a little too much fun the past two weekends.  

This phase has to end sometime or come to a balance.  Actually, I don’t want it to change much.  I need to make some decisions.  The thought of snow falling in about 6 weeks gives me anxiety, as does the thought of raising my child in this area.  It snowed here this past week, in July!  Maybe this phase came about because I feel like I have more steam to blow off.  I have more on my plate than I have ever in my life.  I’m processing everything.  That I know.  I know that I will manifest the answer I need by October when the majority of my current work slows down or drops off until December.  

Until then, I’m phasing in and phasing out and keeping to my resolution of staying on top of my life.  I will file my 2008 taxes in January.  I have to get back to making the office more appealing.  I bet a mini-fridge stocked with teas, coffee, various alcoholic beverages, plastic stemware, mixed nuts, and fresh fruit would help.  Instead of painting the walls in Sherwin-Williams’ rusty Red Cent, maybe I should go for a disco ball.

TT - Green August 3, 2008

Not to brag, but it’s midnight, and I just got home from a night on the town, and it wasn’t work that kept me out late.  I feel tired, and my mind’s going a mile a minute, at least, and that’s kind of slow for me.  

I’ve been listening to Nicole Torres for the past 2 days and LOVING it.  I can understand her when she sings, and that counts for a lot.  I can relate to her songs, and I like her stories.  

“I breathe the words ‘I love you’ into your mouth so you can taste them.”

“I’m impatient.  I’m impulsive.  I’m selfish.  I’m self-destructive.”

Nicole Torres plays the guitar, and speaking of guitar, I was at an after-wedding party for a mutual friend of mine where a rockin’ local band, Mooseknuckle, played.  Man, if I could play guitar half as well as either of the guitarists in that band, or well enough to be a guest guitarist on a Nicole Torres album, I would be happy, even if it takes another 20 years before I get there.  

Well, I don’t know if I can wait that long.  I’m pretty green at the guitar right now, and it feels like it might take that long.  Oh dog, and I haven’t practiced for at least 2 weeks.  We didn’t have Spanish/Guitar trade lessons for a couple weeks.  He had friends staying with him who travel as a band, and they keep musician hours.  I had a presentation on lesson morning, so I cancelled the last time.

Oh, I had a presentation!  I presented my writing services to a small group of local business owners.  I got a bite, but I need to bite back, call back rather, get the guy’s number and see what’s going on with his project.  If nothing else, it was a good experience, and I hope to do more of them, with less shaking in my voice, even though I didn’t feel that nervous, and I practiced and practiced, just like I was in a play, and I was on stage, and I LOVED that!  Until the hard questions came.  Oh well.  Live and learn for sure!

Now, I’m tired.  I think I had to calm down from a night of socializing and getting my butt grabbed more times than it did last week when I went out for Girls’ Night with my girlfriend.  This week, I just found the physical contact with strangers alarming.  Maybe it’s because most everyone had started drinking hours ago at the wedding.  I did meet some nice people tonight who had control of themselves and who apologized for their friends who did not.  Did that one guy get asked to leave or did he retire to the patio?  Don’t know, but I’m glad that we ended up in opposite places by the end.  I’m glad I got to spend time with friends, and we weren’t at work for once.

Worth Writing Down July 15, 2008

I have slept all night for 8, consecutive hours for 3 nights in a row.  This is a miracle.  I don’t remember the last time this happened.  I’m a 4-6 hour a night kind of gal.  I get 8 hours in one night once or twice a week.  Most of the time, I stumble around in a state of exhaustion, going from one job or responsibility to the next, unable to make comprehensible conversation after 3 p.m.  

My thoughts keep me awake most nights.  Over the weekend, I resolved some of my anxiety on a couple of issues.  Also, the possibility of having 3 days to myself next week may have given me some excitement and peace.  Now, it may be taken away, but I won’t know until Tuesday.  

This past Sunday was my only day off for this week.  I found it noteworthy that I spent an entire day lying around doing near nothing.  My mouth had swollen in an allergic reaction to a salad I ate for breakfast, and I thought I was coming down with something.  I wasn’t.  I’m well.  My mouth returned to normal by yesterday.  

Somehow, I feel anxious now.  Or the coffee is having an effect on me today, and I’ve only had 10 of my 20 ounces.  I’d better get to work.  I picked up an extra shift at the restaurant this week, so I have to finish getting the Ranch ready today for our guests this weekend.  Thank goodness that this past weekend we had an awesome group of people.  What a simple, happy, green wedding party.  Aside from a few dirty towels and imperfect beds, I could hardly tell we had entertained a group of 70.  If only all of them were like this, but then I would appreciate conscious guests like them less.  

Signing off well-rested and with gratitude,

J

Talk Thursday - Hot Summer Nights July 2, 2008

I had a BLAST and a half at work (at the restaurant) last night. It’s Music Fest this weekend, and that means live, free music Thursday through Sunday and lots of people milling around town. We seated people for a half hour longer past closing, and we threw a disco dance party at 9 p.m.  Well, you know what happened after I was no longer needed in the dining room. Yep, I was out there dancing on the deck at the party. Actually, my services were still needed in the dining room, but I refrained from the party…until they played “Love Shack.” That I cannot resist.

I was between clearing tables and done seating people.  I had had 2 homemade, pineapple tequila shots.  Then, I drank a beer…fast…while I danced.  So, a former line cook showed up for the party.  We’ll call him Gian, and he pulled me onto the deck to dance with him (and the 4, 60-year-olds dancing on the deck.)  Oh. my. and one of the 60-year-old guys knew all the words to Prince’s songs.  I thought I would die…and steal him away as my new dance party partner.  

One of the waitresses that I work with was cocktail waitressing after her dining room shift.  She and I have had a private dance party at the restaurant before.  So, she was there and dancing and getting drinks and just being her hot, fun self.  Anyway, we danced and danced.  I excused myself periodically for the first half-hour to clear tables, until I was excused from my duties.  Party time! 

The bartender would join us for the good songs.  She’s way fun, too.  I tried to get EVERYONE to dance - as usual.  Call me the Morale Committee.  I had some success.  I even got the chef to get down for a few seconds.  I will cherish that moment for the rest of the year.  This Friday’s his birthday, so I’m hoping that it might happen again.  He plans to drink and sleep at the restaurant, so I never know what to expect with those conditions.  Maybe it will be 10 seconds this week.  I think that my job as the one-person Morale Committee involves getting others to drink in order for them to lose their inhibitions enough to boogie.  I left with one broken promise from a cook who said he would dance and a headache knocking on my window in the morning.  

It was a hot, summer night topping 50 degrees when I got to my car at 12:13 a.m.  My nights don’t get much hotter or more fun than this one.  

 

 

Zen Sarcasms June 30, 2008

I received these from a friend who only forwards worthy emails.  They made me laugh, and I needed that, so I thought I’d share.  Sorry, I’ve been a little MIA lately in the blog world.  Lots going on.  Busy with all 4 jobs (yay!), and I have an interview tomorrow to write procedures for a local company.  I’m nervous, excited, and eating non-stop.  I made Rice Krispie treats today.  I’ll probably make more tomorrow and have a drinky-drink after it’s all over.  

Zen Sarcasms:

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead.  Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow.  Do not walk beside me, either.  Just pretty much leave me alone.  

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire. 

3. It’s always darkest before dawn, so if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it. 

4. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted. 

5. Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else. 

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 

7. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes. 

9. If at first you don’t succeed…… skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 

11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything. 

12. Some days you’re the bug. Some days you’re the windshield. 

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them. 

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put back in your pocket. 

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together. 

17. There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works. 

18. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving. 

19. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. 

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.