The Seeker – Talk Thursday February 24, 2009

I have always sought for more knowledge with my mom. She has been a spiritual driving force, a seeker, for my entire life.

Philosophical Debate? I choose my mom as my opponent, though we’re usually on the same side.

She also has more time to seek information and pass it along to me, such as, the Awakening discs from Bill Harris. By the way, I listened to the introduction and fell asleep half way through. Since I didn’t remember the last thing I heard on the disc, I haven’t gone back to listen to it again. I did that right before the housesitting. I want to start. It’s on my wishlist of creating or setting aside time every day to meditate. I think it would benefit me.

The last two days, I have felt even more like myself. Yesterday, I organized my food cabinet and cleaned my fridge shelf. I meal planned for this week, including lunches. Then, I went to the grocery store, list in hand, separated by store section:

produce
canned/pkg
dairy
baked
frozen
other

I made dinner last night using a recipe. I haven’t done that since October. We all sat down to dinner together, me and Girlfriend and the kids.

I got up early this morning and cleaned the dishes and the kitchen, showered, fed myself and the kids, made tea for Girlfriend, and vacuumed the living room. I headed to work for an even more productive day there!

Anyway, point of the story, I got a text message this morning at 8 a.m. asking if I was up.

Up? Does this person know me or not?

Yes, I’m up, I texted, and included the list of things above.

I noted how opposite I am of this person in this regard. He’s a night owl, which I can be, but my life doesn’t really allow it. Insomnia plays a part with my night owl behavior. Being a night owl doesn’t work for me anymore when I wake up every day at 6:30 or earlier without an alarm.

Nope, it doesn’t matter what time I have fallen asleep or how little sleep I have had in the preceding days. I wake up early and rarely fall back to sleep. It’s something I’m working to improve. I’d like to sleep more.

So, here I sit typing when I should be in bed where I usually am at this hour, slumber sought and conquered.

I also have to wonder if feeling like my old self is really my old self or if it’s the self I developed because of my marriage. I had a regimen to follow: meal plan, cleaning, work, dishes, grocery shopping, organizing.

I think it’s the real me. I’ll let you know. I’m still seeking aspects of myself these days.

Talk Thursday – Groove Is in the Heart February 15, 2009

For the first time in years, I enjoyed Valentine’s Day yesterday.  I looked forward to it a little.  I’ve never been a huge fan of holidays, but I’m starting to wonder if that will change this year, too.  I hope so.  

 

If groove is in the heart, then I’ve been feeling a lot more groove lately.  And I’ve been going with it.  

 

I had to work last night at the restaurant.  Everything went smoothly.  We had extra help.  I had spent the three days leading up to Valentine’s Day thinking up conversation starting questions to go on all the tables for the evening.  I had questions like “What’s the best pick-up line you’ve ever gotten?”  “What’s your favorite place on your body to be kissed by your lover?”  

People loved it.  I got praise for my creativity.  I loved that.

I’m getting my groove back.

Milestones February 12, 2009

2/7/09

Today makes Little Guy three-and-a-half.  I find toddlers and this age in particular so interesting.  They look and behave not like babies but not like kindergartners either, just somewhere in between.  

“Me peed,” Little Guy informed me as soon as he woke up.  He wears training pants at night and underwear during the day.  Usually the wet announcement isn’t a big deal, but he had peed so much that it soaked his diaper, pajamas, and a spot through all layers of blankets and sheets on our bed.  

“I need change my jammas,” he said lying on the bed on his back with his legs bent into his chest like a baby’s.  His footed pajamas reminded me even more of babyish position.  Except that this baby talks in full sentences, praise the stars.  “Can you help me, please?”

“Yes,” I tell him.  Without having to get out of the warm bed, I helped him change his pajamas and get new ones out and on.  Awesome.  Then, he came back to bed to hide under the covers from “monsters.”  Even better, he wanted to snuggle and stay in bed.  

Usually, he gets up too early on sleeping in days and begs for me to get up and get his yogurt.  And if I don’t get up after he’s pulled off all my covers (“Der ooh go,” he says) and handed me my robe (“Ou’re welcome.”), he goes upstairs and gets his yogurt tub out from the top shelf of the fridge and starts helping himself.  Messy.

That we lounged around for and hour with minimal effort on my part started off the day right for me.  The rest of the day had its ups and downs, but I got the entire upstairs bathroom clean, minus mopping the floor.  I watched an episode of “Psych” and half and episode of “Monk” while I waited for my appointment at work who didn’t show up.  I read half of two of my roommate’s magazines.  I got to tickle Little Guy a lot, listen to his laugh, and see his smile.

Rainbows February 9, 2009

2/7/09

My mom gave me and Little Guy a solar-powered rainbow maker for Christmas. I attached it to my east-facing window with the suction cups. The device has two, suspended, faceted pieces of glass that spin when the sun hits the motor shooting rainbows all over our bedroom.

Today, Little Guy and I slept in until 7. When the sun rose, we were laying in bed when the rainbows started. “Watch the rainbows with me,” I said. With his active mind and body, he takes no interest in laying in bed to watch spinning rainbows.

“The wainbows are winging awound,” he always says in the morning. Instead of saying “spinning,” he calls it “ringing around.” He learned that term from the song “Ring Around the Roses.”

It didn’t take long for him to turn into a kitty and pounce on all the moving rainbows on the bed and walls. “Meow,” he says. “I’m a kitty.” And he went back to chasing the rainbows.